I rode a commuter train to work the past couple of days. For some reason, I reflected on the jobs I’ve had and the things I’ve learned along the way and jotted them down…
Free-Lance-Star – Paper Delivery Boy – How to throw a newspaper on a porch from 30ft out without causing too much damage.
Mechaneer Construction – Warehouse Labor – How to work hard for little money and still save up for a BMX bike.
Shopper’s Food Warehouse – Dairy Stocker – How to use a box knife and palette jack really well.
Bojangles Famous Fried Chicken – Biscuit Maker – How to make fluffy biscuits using a ton of lard.
4-Star Pizza – Delivery Man – How to stretch pizza dough by throwing it in the air.
Crest Foods – Bag Boy – How to put heavy stuff on the bottom and the loaf of bread on the top.
Johnnies Charcoal Broiler – Busboy – How to refill Heinz ketchup bottles and then set them back out on tables.
Burger King – Burger Flipper – How to get fired from a job the exact moment I had earned enough to fix my car.
Pizza Hut – Delivery Man – How to total another car in my driveway by backing into it when I was in a hurry to get to work.
Apollo Twin Movie Theatre – Popcorn Sales/Projectionist – How to up sell someone to a large popcorn and get held up at gunpoint.
Circle K – Sales Clerk – How to smoke a lot.
National Right to Work Legal Defense Foundation – Secretary – How to make a million photocopies of briefs to be filed with the Supreme Court.
University of Oklahoma – Undergraduate Instructor – How to talk in front of a large audience.
Kerr-McGee – Intern – How to be useful without having someone tell you what to do.
Amoco – Computer Programmer – How to think like a programmer.
KPMG – Retail Systems Consultant – How to think like a consultant.
Business Data Services – How to think like a systems person (and drink a lot).
Leo Burnett – Systems Analyst – How to think more architecturally (and smoke a lot).
Calypso – Systems Consultant – How to think more creatively and entrepreneurially (and play foosball).
Enjin Interactive – Partner/Systems Consultant – How to start my own business and spend half your time following up with clients to pay you.
Household International – IT Manager – How to be a manager.
HSBC – IT Director – How to see the bigger picture.