Working for a Living

I rode a commuter train to work the past couple of days. For some reason, I reflected on the jobs I’ve had and the things I’ve learned along the way and jotted them down…

1980s

Free-Lance-Star – Paper Delivery Boy – How to throw a newspaper on a porch from 30ft out without causing too much damage.

Mechaneer Construction – Warehouse Labor – How to work hard for little money and still save up for a BMX bike.

Shopper’s Food Warehouse – Dairy Stocker – How to use a box knife and palette jack really well.

Bojangles Famous Fried Chicken – Biscuit Maker – How to make fluffy biscuits using a ton of lard.

4-Star Pizza – Delivery Man – How to stretch pizza dough by throwing it in the air.

Crest Foods – Bag Boy – How to put heavy stuff on the bottom and the loaf of bread on the top.

Johnnies Charcoal Broiler – Busboy – How to refill Heinz ketchup bottles and then set them back out on tables.

Burger King – Burger Flipper – How to get fired from a job the exact moment I had earned enough to fix my car.

Pizza Hut – Delivery Man – How to total another car in my driveway by backing into it when I was in a hurry to get to work.

Apollo Twin Movie Theatre – Popcorn Sales/Projectionist – How to up sell someone to a large popcorn and get held up at gunpoint.

Circle K – Sales Clerk – How to smoke a lot.

National Right to Work Legal Defense Foundation – Secretary – How to make a million photocopies of briefs to be filed with the Supreme Court.

1990s

University of Oklahoma – Undergraduate Instructor – How to talk in front of a large audience.

Kerr-McGee – Intern – How to be useful without having someone tell you what to do.

Amoco – Computer Programmer – How to think like a programmer.

KPMG – Retail Systems Consultant – How to think like a consultant.

Business Data Services – How to think like a systems person (and drink a lot).

Leo Burnett – Systems Analyst – How to think more architecturally (and smoke a lot).

Calypso – Systems Consultant – How to think more creatively and entrepreneurially (and play foosball).

Enjin Interactive – Partner/Systems Consultant – How to start my own business and spend half your time following up with clients to pay you.

2000s

Household International – IT Manager – How to be a manager.

HSBC – IT Director – How to see the bigger picture.